Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Into the Unknown

Making huge life changes is scary--- even when you are not forced into it. How do we get the courage to actually take the leap? Status quo is so much easier, even if it’s stressful. And why is it easier? Simply because of the unknown.
To take a leap completely blind, no plans, no idea of what is in front of you is terrifying. So we try to plan it all out. If we have a plan, it gives us some assurance that we might know what is going on. It gives us a direction to push for. Things don’t get accomplished without a plan. It’s like the quote by Basil Walsh,“If you don’t know where you are going, how can you expect to get there?”  
Planning it all out relieves some of our fears, at least we have a direction we are headed. However, there are still many unknown factors. As we all know, “the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.” Although we have control over our reactions, we really don’t have control over a lot of what happens to us. So it’s still crazy scary even with a plan, and sometimes we need to make the change whether we have a plan or not.
Either way, this is where I get to the end of myself. If I sit here and worry about it all the time,  freak out when it doesn’t seem to be going right, imagine the worst will happen, then my mind is in constant turmoil and fear and that stress definitely outweighs the stress of whatever is going on that needs to change. This is where I decide, plan or no plan, I’ve got to give my future and what is going to happen over to God. He is the only one that knows what is going to happen and can help me through whatever does end up coming my way. I’ve got to trust Him to lead me and not try to lead myself. So hard to do, especially for a control freak like me. But the peace that comes, that passes all understanding, is amazing.
For a few seconds, until I grab back my worries. God, help me to just completely let it go…

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Running Into A Glass Wall

So I've been asked/volunteered to come up with a window display for our church. We have two large storefront windows on Main Street and have nothing in them. I love doing anything creative and artsy, so I jumped at the chance. I was definitely over-confident and zealous at first. It seemed like an easy, but fun task. The more I think about it and plan for it, the harder it becomes. First of all, its not like churches really have a product they are selling. Yes, we are definitely promoting living a life for God, but that is a pretty abstract concept that can be expressed in about a million ways. The sermon series title, "Genuine Joy," is also fairly abstract. Secondly, I'm not starting with a store full of stuff to choose from. I have to find everything I'm going to use for the windows, starting from scratch. When I started thinking about "Genuine Joy," very artsy, but girly ideas popped into my head. It would be pretty, but not express the feel of our church and what the series is all about. So then I started thinking more modern and cleancut and am still working on developing those ideas. Another problem I'm having, is that I'm so used to working in 2D that almost everything that comes into my head would be great for 2D, but very difficult in 3D. So I'm working at letting go of my 2D inhibitions, and broadening my artistic expression to 3D. AND working on coming up with something that wouldn't take a very long time to put together. Some of my ideas have definitely been very labor intensive. You'd think a blank slate would be great, but right now it looks a little too blank. I'll post about what I decide to do, if I ever get past my artist's block, and hopefully eventually have a picture of the end product.