Friday, April 23, 2010

Petal-Covered Path

Dreams are like cherry blossoms,
maturing and falling to the ground.

I'm walking on a petal-covered path of spent dreams.

Some of the blooms came to fruition,
Others simply faded away over time.

I'm walking on a petal-covered path of spent dreams.

The idea was full of blooming hope,
Now just a memory of what was or could be.

I'm walking on a petal-covered path of spent dreams.

Though the petals are faded and spent,
They make my life beautiful.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

I'm Positive

Getting examined for your work visa in China is an interesting process. One thing we found interesting and a little a scary, was that they didn't list positive or negative on our blood types. When we asked Chinese friends about this, they had no idea what we were talking about. It's been about 4 years since we got back from China and I finally decided to investigate a little further. Thanks to Wikipedia, I found this information: Over 99% of Asians are Rh positive.  So I figure, because almost everyone is, they just don't test for it.  The scary thing is (as one of my mathematician friends pointed out), this could leave up to about 30 million people that are negative, not to mention expats living there. We are planning to go back to China this summer, so right now I'm pretty glad that I'm positive.
Another interesting thing about blood types in China is that most Chinese people believe that your blood type is related to your personality.  Fortunately for me, O is considered to be a nice and generous personality.  Actually, fortunately for the world, because O is the most common blood type in almost all races.

Sense and Sensibility

So I realized that one of my favorite Jane Austen books, entirely relates to the previous post.  If only we could all be like Elinor...

Friday, April 16, 2010

Drunk On Love

People will do insane things under the influence...the influence of infatuation. Many marriages, relationships, jobs, grades, etc. have been destroyed by infatuation. I say infatuation because I really believe that love is something entirely different from what most people, or maybe just our society in general, thinks it is.
And boy, does our society put infatuation on a pedestal. It's ok to leave your spouse because you don't love them anymore and are infatuated with someone else. Really, its ok for anyone to "fall in love" with anyone else no matter who they are (age, sex, race, status, etc.). In fact, where is the romantic adventure in our lives if we don't fall in love with someone unlikely or inappropriate? Isn't that what most of those great romantic comedies we watch are about? Now don't get me wrong, I'm all for cultural and societal barriers being broken down in a way that unifies people by common experiences and emotions that cross all cultures. What I'm not for, is allowing a feeling of infatuation to control your actions so much that you end up hurting a lot of people for no good reason.
I once spent an entire semester goofing off in a class taught by my favorite professor, all because my boyfriend was in the same class. I could see my professor losing respect for me, but it didn't phase me. My judgment was completely clouded by infatuation. I have seriously hurt friendships by putting a boyfriend of a few months above friends I've had for years. For some reason, this is all ok if its done in the name of love.
Sure, being infatuated with someone is exciting. It just plain feels good to be around that person and to have those feelings reciprocated. But I think for a lot of people, me included, it can start to control our lives and cause us to make really stupid decisions. Basically, we put that feeling above anything and everything else in our lives. And I say feeling, because many times its not even the relationship or person we are putting above others, but the feeling the relationship gives us. Our spouse, children, friends, work, dreams and goals, and relationship with God get pushed to the background and people get hurt, ourselves included.
We become drunk with infatuation. It really is like a mind-altering drug that feels great for a short time but causes us to do stupid things. And the problem is that when we are in that state, we won't listen to reason. We can't see that what we are doing is wrong. Sometimes we can't even tell that we are hurting others. Many times, infatuation does lead to love, so in our eyes its all worth it.
So what is the difference between infatuation and love? Love is this amazingly powerful thing that gives us purpose and meaning. Its a unity or bond with another person that is so strong that to end it feels as if you've literally been ripped in half, even if its done gradually. Infatuation can lead to love, but by itself is just a shadow of this. It feels like love, but there is no substance to back it up. Love is built by a lot of time, sacrifice, and hard work. It is something that you choose to do, day after day. It's so much more than the exciting feelings of being attracted to someone and getting to know them. You actually become a part of each other, and learn to put that person above yourself even after the initial excitement wears off.
So how can people learn to be more sensible when it comes to infatuation? If we convince ourselves of these things before the next time we are infatuated, will we be able to recognize it for what it really is? Are there people out there that can exercise self-control?